(and a Stern Warning to All Morons)
Before I get to the apology, I find it necessary to attend to this first:
First Order of Business
Dear Yankees Lunkheads (you know who you are),
Ok, you moronic idiots, now you’ve done it! Reality check…You are not big fans. You are big fannies! That’s right, jackasses! Thanks to your stupidity, a prospective Yankee player may not care to come to The Big Apple because you wormy maggots had to act like the pathetic drunks that you obviously must be and yell obscenities, throw beer, and spit…yes.SPIT! (ewwww!)…on the lovely wife of one of baseball’s most gifted pitchers, Cliff Lee. Instead of sitting back in your seats like good little children to enjoy watching one of baseball’s living legends, YOU decided to take it upon YOURSELVES to embarrass the good citizens of New York, whose proper behavior you should have been emulating.
Let’s get one thing straight. It is NOT cool, NOR is it accepted behavior to act like obnoxious buffoons in public. What you do on your own time is your business and, probably, no one wants to know about it, judging by your recent display of stupidity. Don’t ever assume that the we Yankee fans back you up. We don’t. You deserve to be embarrassed for your heinous acts. Shame on you, you, you big bullies!
How would you like it if you traveled cross-country to watch your family member perform in front of a national audience, only to be greeted by pompous jerks who called you names and tossed stuff at you in front of millions of viewers and in front of your kids? I’ll bet you wouldn’t like it too much. Better yet, what if your sons and daughters acted out like that? How proud would you be? My guess is, about as proud as your own mothers and fathers are of you right now.
Even a young kid is wiser than you. You could learn a lot from this eloquent young man Grayson Chance:
As for Mrs. Kristen Lee, the woman responsible for keeping her talented husband on track and holding down the fort while he throws strike after strike, day after grueling day, and all of the Rangers’ families who endured the same cruel treatment…
Dear Mrs. Lee,
On behalf of all NY Yankees fans, please accept our most sincere apologies. You did not deserve to be a victim of such cruel taunting by a few rotten eggs. That is not the way we choose to treat our guests. That was most rude of them and we will not tolerate it. Those unrefined Cro-Magnon men do not represent us. They are despicable, rude pigs who deserve to be fed gruel vs. liquid yeast and roll in their own horrid words. The average Yankee fan has a deep respect for your other half and thoroughly enjoys watching the amazing gift Cliff Lee possesses -12-9, 3.18 ERA, 185 strikeouts in 2010.
Kindly find it in your heart to forgive us for our obnoxious behavior that night. We promise it will never happen again. We are extremely embarrassed by this incident and very sorry that a small handful of supposed fans treated you so poorly.
Please allow Brenda Lee to patch things up between us…
You and your family are welcome to come back to Yankee Stadium any time and we guarantee things will be a lot different. You deserve better and we would like the opportunity to make it up to you. Please do not be hardened by the thought of returning to the great city of New York. It has so many wonderful things to offer. We hope you will give us another chance.
With many arms extended, we remain truly yours with “Purple Skies,”
d8)%–< l >€27@p
“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Now, more than ever, the world needs a superhero. Someone to lift up the tired, huddled masses when they are down, to stamp out evil, to assure them that everything’s going to be alright; someone to restore balance to the universe and keep the world spinning on its axis in the right direction; someone to restore faith to the fans, the players, the game; to remind each and every individual of the MAGIC of baseball.
Sounds like a job for NYY Logo Girl!
As American as apple pie, united we stand, united we root for our home team. Together, we experience that magical feeling we know as baseball. We celebrate victory and spit at defeat. In early Spring, we chomp at the bit for a glimpse of that emerald green turf. In summer, we chomp massive amounts of bubble gum in order to trade players’ cards, with hopes of acquiring the next Yankees legend.
Come September, we chew our knuckles to the bones in suspense and wonder if we’ll ever witness another “Mr. November.” Winter months bring dreams of fantasy camp as we don our flannel Yankees PJs, Yankee Blue fuzzy slippers and tuck ourselves in beneath our cozy Yankees blankets, cuddled together with our favorite Yankees fan. 😉
We are one big family. We span the globe. We span the universe. We transfer our Passion for baseball to everything we do, and we spread our love for the game to everyone we meet. No matter where we go, we are united by one single thread that connects us together – the knowledge that WE ARE YANKEES FANS!
More to come…
Please stay tuned for the next episode when NYY Logo Girl reveals more about her mission!
d8)%–< l >€27-@p
Hint: ( fr / bk )